And how to prevent that catastrophe.

“I’ll never wake up for work without my alarm. I may as well ring in sick right now.”

“Hang on. I’ll never get to sleep in the first place without my sleep playlist on Spotify”

The horror of phone battery death surpasses no electricity and laughs in the face of “no wifi”. Listen up. There are things we need to actively and immediately stop doing in order to move forward in life without the constant weight of impending doom on our shoulders.

  1. Stop charging to 100%. Anything below 91% and you start to feel a bit nauseous? Tough. Your battery runs at it’s most efficient between 30% – 80%. Give it the love it deserves.
  1. It follows to also stop letting your battery die. Just because you know precisely what tasks you can carry out at 15% and what tasks you can get away with at 4% doesn’t mean you should.
  1.  Stop charging to 110%. If you missed that day in maths class, tune in… there are 100 percents in 100%. You are overheating your battery and making it work harder than is necessary. Your battery functions at best between 35 and 90 degrees.
  1. How long would you last chilling out in a sauna with your north face hiking jacket on? You should treat your phone with the same respect. If your phone still feels too hot when it’s plugged in and at 65%, take off the cover. Let it breathe.
  1. You left your Apple issued iPhone charger in your friend’s gaff and replaced it with a knock off from the corner shop. The Apple issued chargers stop charging at 100%. The cheap replacements do not. Sometimes, Apple justify their prices. Sometimes.
  1. The back up phone/fossil. If your keeping your old  phone in your underground bunker in preparation for a zombie apocalypse, keep it half charged in a cool, dry place. If your battery is left in any other state for an extended period of time, you’re on your own when the walking dead arrive.

With all that understood, you can leave the house with a pep in your step. Your world will not come crashing down around you today. Your battery is alive and kicking and in the best shape of it’s life.


Also published on Medium.